Horizon

Horizon: A Testimonial

I rarely discuss what I do for a living because the honest answer is: nothing. Oh, I have a job and an income, a place to go, a parking space, desk, job title, co-workers to annoy, bosses to hoodwink, clients to bamboozle, a picture in the company directory, and a favorite snack in the vending machine. But my actual workload can be compressed into roughly 45 minutes per day and is of no consequence to anyone anywhere. Eventually there’ll be lay-offs when upper management realizes all the nothing going on can be done by fewer people. Then they’ll win a new contract and see the need for more employees doing less. This is what’s known as the business cycle, except it’s more like a mobius strip.

Meanwhile, I need to look industrious while I’m doing nothing. Accomplishments may come and go, but the illusion of activity lives forever.

This is where Horizon comes in. Horizon has increased my perceived productivity dramatically. The link Graeme provided for the online edition of Burmese Days has overnight revitalized my career of doing nothing. I didn’t think I’d enjoy reading a book online, and I don’t – at home; but at the office it has transformed me into the model worker. With my monitor’s back to the door I can spend the day reading Orwell at my leisure and appear focused and determined. I frown, knit my brow, screw up my eyes, sigh with comprehension, cut and paste, take notes, and ignore clients. People are impressed. My boss says she wishes she had 50 staffers just like me. The CEO smiles at me in the hall. I think I may get a special recognition at the company Christmas party.

Horizon has changed my life. Already I’m flying back up the corporate ladder.